Intern Corner #3: Tape Shark vs. Old Blue OR Stuck On Blue

As we all know, there's an election coming up. In the basement at Merge, there are two very different tape guns, and opinions on which is the superior are mixed. Candidate #1 is a newcomer from the Duck company. Known in these parts as the Tape Shark, Tape Shark dispenses Tape and looks like a Shark. Like the sharks found in ball pits at McDonalds across America, Tape Shark gets a smell for tape and leaves no prisoners. Candidate #2 is known as Old Blue. Old Blue is Old and Blue. While Old Blue may not have the go-get-em' attitude of Tape Shark, it is user-friendly and dependable.


I asked around the office to get a feel for which tape gun does the best job of cutting tape. Jack Ball, Tape Shark endorser, states that Tape Shark is not a toy, like Old Blue. The technical name for Tape Shark is Tape Shark Pro, and Jack states that he is indeed a pro. Paul Cardillo, Old Blue supporter says "I hate the shark". "I'm up here trying to talk to Billboard Magazine on the phone and you're asking me about a damn tape gun for the Merge blog?" When I told Cardillo what Ball said about being a pro, Cardillo retorted "Jack doesn't know what it's like to work in shipping, and I'm the only Merge employee that looks like David Cross."

Other Tape Shark fans include Wilson Fuller, who says "the Tape Shark is all about nuance", and Maggie Fost.

Those in support of Old Blue include Jamie Beck, and myself. I just said "Old Blue is easier to use because it doesn't have the hindering safety features of Tape Shark."

Spott Philpott refuses to pick between the two candidates, and votes for the Ralph Nader of Tape Guns, Old Gray. Old Gray is not with us anymore, but remains in the loyal heart of one employee.

We could debate Tape Guns for several minutes, but the real issue here is that boxes need tape, or the whole system falls apart.
-beebo